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Lately, there have been a lot of people talking about the documentary “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead” (currently streaming on Netflix) and Eric and I decided to see what all the hype was about.  On a cold Thursday we watched Joe Cross go from being a portly mcChubster who had a auto-immune disease that required daily medication, to a trim marathon runner who was able to live his life sans meds.  How did he accomplish this tremendous feat?  He drank juice for 60 days.  Now before you get all excited, steaks do not go in the juicer…neither do french fries (bummer, I know).

Seriously inspired, Eric and I trudged to our nearest Bed, Bath and Beyond to purchase a juicer on Saturday and we decided that starting Monday (that would be today) we would embark on our own 10-day journey to see what happens when you live on juice and water alone (first world problems, I know).

The first thing that we noticed Sunday night when we started making the juice is that this little endeavor is going to be hella expensive!  We each need to drink around 50-64 ounces of juice daily and a carrot produces like a teaspoon of juice and a shit ton of kale?  Like, one cup.  After using a garden’s worth of vegetables and fruits, it was time to go to bed in anticipation of Monday’s adventure…and after three long episodes of some other documentary series (Netflix is addicting!) we did just that.  I mean who needs adequate sleep before a long fast?  Clearly, not us.

So this brings me to today, which is Monday.  I have decided that the only way I am actually going to get through this is if I document it daily.  So here goes…

8 am (after consuming the first 16 oz.): Hey!  This isn’t so bad.  I feel energetic since I usually have fruit for breakfast anyway.  Whoo-hoo!  Day one, you are MINE bitch!

8:15 am: I want to punch someone and take their coffee.

10:30 am: Ugh just one and a half more hours until lunch.  What’s for lunch??  FUUUUUUUUUCK!

12:00 pm (second 16 oz. cup): Mmmm, juice!  I call Eric to see how he’s doing: “It’s alright…it definitely looks like barf and I’m really hungry for solid food but we can do this together.”

2:25 pm: Research fasting online and realize that some people call it “juice feasting.”  These people are clearly idiots.  Decide that I will write a blog post to document these ten days.

So there you have it.  I’m hungry, kind of lethargic, I’ve pee’d like a million times (at least), I’ve had to drink water, which I hate (seriously, clean drinking water is soooo overrated…well, except in Africa), I’m planning to go to the gym tonight AND I’m not looking forward to dinner.

Next time Eric and I should skip documentaries about fasting…especially when we’re eating copious amounts of snacks while watching them.

It all looks so innocent...